Shakeyolonbon44

I have an appointment to see the doctor today about my TOM problem…im very glad this can all finally be fixed!

I went on a date last night and had an awesome time, but then we went back to his house to put these cds on his computer and we got to talking, and i feel like i saw him a different perspective. All night he was very into me, complimenting me, asking me things about me, bein a gentleman, opening the door for me, paying for everything, just being perfect. Then when we got back to his house i think the compliments were beginning to be too much for me or something that i started seeing him in a “wow hes full of shit” outlook. I dont know what my deal is, but with every relationship i get insecure like that, and i dont know if he is just completely full of shit, or i really am all those good things he was sayin to me. Its REALLY hard to decipher. I had fun with him, but often he was like oh yeah we also need to go to the arch, we need to do this, andthat, cuz he is new to the area. and he was like “im gonna fill your schedule up! hope you dont mind ” but i feel like the age difference between us makes me look like a fool in his eyes and maybe he is just BULLSHITTING ME. He is 29 and im 20. He has his own business he just started a year ago, and he has an apartment. He has his life together, and me on the other hand, am just in a difference stage in my life. Im living at home, trying to get everything together for MY future. I dont know guys… im so confused. I DID in fact have fun with him. But, its very hard for me to take so many compliments without flipping it and thinking that he is full of it.

On another note, I think the bloating is starting to subside. I havent been working out as much as i was, mostly becasue when i wouuld go to the gym and start working out, the 8LBS water weight added on completely made me feel miserable and couldnt even work out. So now I am down to 175.6!!! So, back to where i should be and i will start losing after all this is fixed with my Birth control.

happy wednesday!

ha ha quitting those negative thoughts. quitting rushing myself. quitting feeling bad that i havent lost weight fast enough. i have the rest of my life. if i lose a lb a month so be it. it is 1 lb in the right direction! so no more negative criticism. i quit!