im down to 167.4!!!!!! yay!! 2.4 lbs away from my minigoal!!! every time i get on that scale and see a number thats under 170 i feel so amazing.

so work drama was awful all weekend. ever since i started making comission its been a FIGHT for appointments. Also, my manager was teaching a grooming academy for the last month, and so this is the first weekend ive had to work with him while making comission. He is sooooo STINGY. he books himself extra appointments in the morning, only to NOT answer the phones, not check in any dogs, not check out any dogs. All he does is groom. groom groom groom groom. that is NOT fair at all, cuz it leaves every one of us to have to answer the phones, make appointments, answer questions. check in dogs, check out dogs, give prices, AND groom our dogs. Also, saturdays are the busiest days for us, and I got the shaft. Seriously, i was only given 3 appointments. I still had 4 open appointments. My manager had 9, three other girls had 8. I got screewweedd! PLUS i got stuck with a REALLLLLLY HUGE and dirty and hairy husky that was biting me and it took me 5 hours to do. So i REALLY didnt make any money at all. Plus, someone was grooming on my table, so i had to groom in the back and listen to all of the dogs bark all day. I was really upset. I only had two appointments checking in when i got there, and i had to check in dogs for 35 minutes. Most of them werent even MY OWN!!!!! it was really rediculous. PLUS, ihad to close by myself, which usually there are two groomers closing. I closed alone, which means that answering the phones and doing walk-in nail trims, and cleaning up and all the earlier mentioned tasks above were put up to me only. But it was no big deal doing all of that, because NOONE BOOKED ME ANY LATE APPOINTMENTS!!! they took all of them. My manager made 250 dollars saturday, and i made 88. how rediculous is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then sunday comes and Sally is there. she is the brown noser. Her and the manager are BUDDY BUDDY and she is the little spy. she acts lke shes our friend but shes not. she runs and tells him everything. When i came in she had 5 appointments already. Her and another girl, and the rest of us had three. Then one of mine called and cancelled. So i was down to two. We kept getting phone calls and nobody was giving me appointments, so i took it upon myself to answer the phones and book ONLY myself dogs to get back up even with everyone else. There was a bather’s dog that came in, and since they dont make comission, we are allowed to take it, as long as it is a shedless treatment. It was. I was like, hell yeah im going to take this dog, i wana make money and since you all made money yesterday i dont care, im taking it. so i did. then i ended up taking in another late dog, and so i ended up with 5. Sally was PISSED. she was fuming. she wanted to make a ton of money and be a dog hog. i cant stand her. she acts lke she is buddy buddy with me but im not stupid. So i asked her yesterday if she hates me, and she said sometimes. I said oh ok. and looked away. Even though she prob was “acting” like she was joking, im sure she was NOT joking. shes phony, and i think im going to let her know i feel that way.

I weighed in last night for my weigh in, and i should of done it today! i weighed in my lowest yet! 168.0! yayyyy!!!!! i can REALLLLY tell in my face and neck that im getting way smaller. I love this feeling!

My MILE count so far:25 miles- yayyy!!!! i have 3 weeks left to do 75 miles. I GOT THIS!!

Im doing some serious thinkin and working on my heart and soul becuse i know that i cant be in a healthy relationship without taking care of myself first and making sure that i love myself. alot of my insecurities come from thinking im going to be left and abandoned, so its some issues i need to work out in order to not run men off.

heres an article i thought i would share since we all always could use some self LOVE!

Oh, and i am hoping the wildcats did great in this weigh-in! I am going to step it up more and comment more in the forums, ive just had a CRAZZZYY week. forgive me kitties

SEVEN STEPS TO LOVING YOURSELF

Does the women in our society have to be toothpick thin?  Do women really need face lifts or breast enlargements?  Unfortunately, the society we live in make women think that they need to look and act a certain way in order to be accepted.

What’s most important is not what others think about you its how you feel about yourself.  In order to feel good about yourself, you need to accept yourself.  You must look at yourself positively and realize that there is no such thing as a perfect person.  There is no need to feel a sense of embarrassment because you may not fit society’s make believe dream woman.

What’s most important in our life is that we try to master the daily troubles that come our way, and overcome the problems that have already occurred in our lives.  Now this should be considered a triumph.  If you are unhappy with yourself then you need to do something about it.  Ignoring your problems and emotions, not dealing with them, is the easy way out, to face them and deal with then are accomplishments.  Accepting our ourselves helps us grow mentally, physically and spiritually.

Remember, its not how we look on the outside that’s important, its how we feel on the inside that matters.  In this life in order to survive it is important that we accept ourselves for who we are, feel good about ourselves and carry an inner strength so we can live a healthy, happy and productive life. 
          When we are young, we have people in our lives that help to mold us.  They help us develop the strength, wisdom and knowledge we need to survive in this world.  Yet many of us forget what we learned and focus on what’s unimportant, such as how we look on the outside. 
         The results are in the long run you’re going to end up feeling emotionally drained and unable to live a productive life.  Everyone is put on this earth here for a reason. We need to pass on what we have learned along to others.    

It is selfish and pure laziness to pity ourselves because you may not have that model figure.  You must learn to accept and love yourself.  You are not alone, many women feel unhappy with themselves.

To live with and accept yourself, you need to open your heart and listen to what it is telling you inside.  Your heart will never lie to you because it only tells the truth.  You must have the courage to ask your heart why you refuse to love yourself the way you are.  Usually when we are unhappy with ourselves, it is because we are embarrassed about whatever we are trying to hide.  Your body is not something you should be ashamed of having.  You need to help yourself by accepting yourself and loving yourself for who you are.  This is the first step in order to heal yourself and feel good about you.

       Ask yourself the question, what level of self-approval you have I reached on a day to day basis?  I have listed seven steps to help you learn to love and accept yourself.                                

STEP 1-           accept yourself for who you are and learn to love yourself for whom you are a person

STEP 2-           understand yourself mentally, physically and spiritually

STEP 3-           learn to control your mind, body and emotions

STEP 4-           strengthen your inner self and make it apparent to others

STEP 5-           begin changing what you do not like about yourself

STEP 6-           notice the change in your self-esteem and self-confidence

STEP 7-           have a tremendous amount of pride in yourself   

People realize that to change and strengthen themselves they must accept themselves and learn how to live with themselves in a productive manner.  You need to look at life in a positive way.  You need to say to yourself, “OK, I’m not happy with the person, I have become.  I need to change and this is what I am going to do about it.”  Stop being lazy.  This is the first step to healing and strengthening our souls and self-esteem.  Be proud in who you are.   Be thankful each morning that you can wake up and feel the warmth of the sun and the beauty that surrounds us all. 

1. Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down.
2. Don’t view yourself as inferior to others. Don’t walk around with the subconscious mindset that others are better or more qualified than you, whether it’s related to work, school, or just socializing. To a certain degree, it’s good to walk around with a feeling of superiority. However, don’t take this too far, or you’ll come across as a jerk.
3. Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There’s no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on.
4. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.
5. Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you’ve declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. Express yourself, whether it’s through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it’s difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you’re following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you’ll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!
6. Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it’s emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
7. Be Positive, even if you don’t feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior–they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.
8. Accept compliments gracefully. Don’t roll your eyes and say, “Yeah, right,” or shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively (”Thank you” and a smile works well).
9. Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what’s called the “facial feedback theory” suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.
10. Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you’re a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel.
11. Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don’t have something you can believe in, you don’t have anything. If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what’s happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you’ve followed your principles to the best of your ability.
12. Help others. When you know you’re kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people’s lives (even if it’s just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you’ll know that you are a positive force in the world–which will boost your self confidence. Go volunteer twice a month at an elementary school. Bake something for your neighbor for no reason. Confidence that you have earned is the most long-lasting.
13. Don’t Care What Other People Think You shouldn’t care about what other people will think or are going to think because what’s important is that you are fine with yourself and if you’re fine with yourself, others will be fine with you!

i u the pc as my profile pic i couldnt get it to post. i have this new comuter with vista! all new 2 me!!!!

everyone…today is a new day, and you can do ANYTHING for one day. so stick to diet and workout for today. then see how you feel tomorrow!!!!!!

my goal is to MAKE sure i get enough water today. i think that might be part of my difficulties.

MORE WA WA!

 (dress is in my profile pic i couldnt get it to post here!)

i went to the gym tonight and my two hour night just drug and drug on… it seemed so long and i was so tired. but i still got it done!! im proud of myself!!! oh, and im going to start my period on friday, i can already feel the bloating… i am SOO DREADING this weigh in… i have been doin great on diet and such but i always gain weight on my period. oh well… i guess next week shall be good!!

MY MILE COUNT SO FAR: 20.5

grrrr. i dont know what my deal is i just woke up and already not having the best day. on saturday i went and bought some sexxxxy heels, which i said i would buy something i wouldnt normally buy, and i did. i was really meaning like a dress or an outfit, and i still plan on doing that. I got three pair at DSW for 70 dollars!

what a deal!!! i dont know how thats all huge. that seems to happen alot! my finger slips and not sure what i press. anyway, i need to be looking in the forums and posting cartoons or something, my spirits are low today. dont feel like going to the gym, but i need to. dont feel like doin the dishes, but i have a HUGE pile!!!!!!

someone send me some motivation!!!!!

oh, and im also wondering, when does the double chin start to go away. i looked in the mirror with a hand held mirror and saw my profile and i still look very full in my face from the side. i dont like that

when does it go away?

My goals: walk/run/jog/bike 100 miles. that is my teams challenge, and im up for it!!

                  eat at least 1300 calories each day. i think not eating enough affected my weight loss.

                 eat less than 1700 calories.

                go shopping and buy something that i never thought i could wear before. something that makes me feel good.

YAY!

yes, i lost weight from last weeks high of 174 down to 170 but jeez…. twice this past week i had a low weigh in, once at 169 and once at 168! what is going on. its probably from workouts cuz i have 5 really low cal/or on calorie days, then a high day, then another medium one. hmm….

it must be atributed to working out cuz im feelin good!!

let me make something more clear lol, the week before i had 174 i was down to 170. so i went way up and then way down.

grrr the scale. i got too # happy weighin all the time and it gets me down. i am vowing to only weigh on weigh in days.

so im 5 good days out of five!!!! i went to the gym tonight and burned 1400 calories!!!!

JEEZ LOUIZE! i didnt mean to burn so many i just was watching the biggest loser and i had to keep movin, so i figured if i had to keep moving i might as well burn as many calories as i could, so i stayed on the crossramp elyptical thing for an hour and burned 700 and was on the amt100i for an hour and burned 700. i think i should of eaten a lot more today to cover for my workout, cuz i probably only totalled in at about 1200? 1300 worst case. i planned on eating dinner after the gym but i just had no appetite. not going to complain about that, i just hope this doesnt shock my body! im not gonna work out tomorrow, give my body a rest day.

I am really liking this new computer but the keyboard is kinda hard to get used to its not as sensitive as my other one you really have to push down the keys to get it to pick up on what you are writing. thats not how im used to typing i guess hehehe!

So these are my goals till friday:

wednesday: stay under 1500 calories- and no workout

thursday: stay under 1500 and have a workout of an hour- 500-800 cals burned.

FRIDAY-WEIGH IN DAY. im gonna kill it yayy!!!

heartbreak rocker’s you better watchhhhhh out!!

i think we should all get tshirts for our team. all you do is go to walmart to the mens section, get a t shirt plain color, black looks really good, but whatever color you want. they are 4.50 a piece! not bad for a t! then go and get the 97 cent iron on letter packs. i got 4 of them, and it allowed me to make two t-shirts.

on the front i put “wildcat cougars” all silly looking, all crooked and the a in cougars is lowered, its very cute. and on the back i put “loni”

i gotta represent, come on!!

new minigoal of 165 here i come!

I am now making comission at work!!! so this is my first week to make as much money as dogs i can groom hehehe!!

oh, and for all of you that were oh so worried, i got a new computer today! a gateway laptop, i realllly like it!! its perrty!

oh and i had another GREAAATTTT EAT day and im off to the gym for my two hour night-the biggest loser is on tonight!! im so pumped. i got a compliment from a woman i work with that she can tell ive lost weight, this is one of the girls i mentioned earlier that have never even noticed. im like yay!! finally!!

Im a nerd and i had some t shirts and some iron on letters, and i didnt know what to put on the tshirts, so i made a t shirt with wildcat cougars on the front. hehehe!!!! maybe ill wear it to the gym tonight lol

smiles!!!!!!!!