Shakeyolonbon44

Calories for today:

crackers and cheese-200

smoothe-200

hot pocket-300

veggies-150

chicken wings-340

dessert pack-200

CALORIE TOTAL 1390! WOW! I THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE GONE OVER. BUT I TOTALLY DIDNT.

YAY FOR ME. the funny thing about this is that TODAY WAS THE HARDEST DAY EVER!!!! I WAS STARRRRRRRRRRRVING ALL DAY. I dont know what my issue was, i just wanted to eat and eat and eat. food was on my mind every minute. no joke. For those of you who have these days (and i know we all have these days) but for those of you who cant seem to get through it, look at what i did. I GOT THROUGH IT. all i did was look at every thin person walk through my job and i was like ok if i do good today i will be one step closer. i also said to myself, i KNOW ill wake up tomorrow and feel so happy that i didnt run out and get KFC or didnt order this or order that from work. because i REMINDED MYSELF that i woke up THIS MORNING feeling not so great that i went over  a little yesterday. but i KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I WILL WAKE UP TOMORROW MORNING and feel so GREAT THAT i got through this REALLLLLLLLY HARD day and stayed on track with my calories.

THE PERFECT EQUATION: I think the perfect equation is this.

Your mind has to be in the right place.. which would include not focusing TOO much on every little thing.

You cant focus TOO much on the scale. Weigh only on specific “weigh in days”

You cant focus TOO much on a certain time limit goal that gives you no leniency. like “ill weigh ___ by 1 month from now. This is bad because if you give yourself a cheat day, which is absolutely fine in moderation, you will look at your goal and realize that it is almost impossible now because you gave yourself no leniency. So you cheat more because you KNOW you wont make it anyway. BAD IDEA.

Its best to accept that you might not lose a TON of weight FAST. Dont focus on the amount of weight you lose each week, focus on the FACT THAT THE NUMBER IS SMALLER! THATS ALL THAT MATTERS!

Dont eat extra things knowing that you will work them off later. It does not work that way. Eat your alloted calories and dont “compromise” with yourself to eat more. Exercise is to SPEED up your weight loss, not to account for your extra endulgent calories that werent planned.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, LIVE YOUR LIFE! you ARE human and each day is ALWAYS AN OPPORTUNITY to do something different. If you were eating horribly for a year straight every day, the next day you wake up is NOT SET IN STONE. you CAN wake up and change your life.

you can ALWAYS change your life.

Stop WHINING! Accept that YOU have the power, just like i did today, to choose what goes in your mouth. FORCE YOURSELF TO DRINK A TONNNNNNN OF water and you will feel so sick that you wont want to eat. do ANYTHING that will distract you from the food you shouldnt eat. you CAN! and whining wont help you overcome these tough times. Will power and the use of your brain to distract/trick yourself until you get past it.

So guys, who is in this to change their life?!?!?

I know I am. I know that each day i wake up I am a better person because I am using everything I was given to my advantage, and not to my demise. My brain is adaptable, and can just as easily be used to whine as it can be used to help.

SO. heres to us!

Hey guys! I woke up today after allowing myself to have a cheat day, and i totally wish i hadnt! i hate that feeling. BUT I am thinking that I probably needed it. IDK! i just hate waking up and thinking “aahh i didnt do good yesterday so now i have no momentum!”

but, i did it, and maybe by giving myself one day randomly i can keep myself from falling off the wagon for an extended amount of time. does anyone give themselves a cheat day and if you do, do you ever totally not feel guilty about it?

I was probably around 3000 or 4000 calories. This is what I ate

breakfast: 300 calories, bowl of lucky charms and skim milk

snack: 80 calorie scooby snack

lunch: quiznos regular size sub: baja chicken- 800-900 calories

snack: cold stone creamery 550 - small size

dinner: you pick two from bread co: 375 sandwhich soup 300

bud light lime: 580

add it all up for a grand total of!!!!!!!!! 3180!!!

OUCH

so today, im going to eat very healthy. im going to try to not go over 1200 calories. maybe this will jump start my metabolism lol. idk! i worked out yesterday too and burned 300 calories, thats better than nothing.

UGGGGH after adding that all up im feeling so gross! not only because of that day, but it reminds me of how i used to eat. and i could do that in  day NO PROBLEM. eating 3000 calories and never feel totally stuffed. i didnt feel like i stuffed my face because of the food, because i just had sandwhiches and soup. yes, the icecream, that wasnt even the worst of it all! lol

and YES i drank beer. i said i wasnt going to drink until my birthday, but hey! one day is better than a few days a week like i was doing! and my girlfriend has invited me over to drink with her a few times already and ive said no. so i feel good about that.

anyone have any advice on how to not FOCUS on this day?

HEEEY!!! I TALKED TO THE TRAINER!!! I WAS ON A MACHINE AND SAW HIM ALONE AT THE TRAINERS DESK. and so i walked up to him and said “hey i always see you here so i just wanted to introduce myself!” so he was like hey my name is james! and i was like im loni. and he was like oh are you just gettin done? did you work out hard! i was like yess i did! well it was nice to meet you ill c you later! and i walked out. so THAT was my foundation of starting something, he now knows my name so i will continue to say hi to him and if he wants to turn it into something i gave him the key to open my door!!!

he is BEAUTIFUL! lol

anyway, i just got back from the movie “my life in ruins”

it wasnt that good! i just wanted to let you all know!> i dont know what else to say really. im glad i have another day off tomorrow, my girlfriend might be going to the pool with me! so i wont have to go alone. AND im about to go dye my hair! RIGHT NOW!

So i went to the SIUE pool today, thats my college pool… and i went alone. The wierd thing is, i have a TOn of friends. i went to school from k-6th grade in illinois, so i still have friends from there, then i went to school 6-12th in st louis, then 1st year of college at CMSU in warrensburg, mo and i have some friends from there, and now i go to SIUE. i have work friends, from my old jobs and current job, then i have friends from when i was a camp counselor, so i have friends from all over the world… but the problem i have is that i dont have any friends at SIUE. and that is where i go now. i feel so alone here, i dont really have any friends that i hang out with day to day, i hang with people sometimes from st louis, but for the most part i dont have a “clique” of friends that we call each other every day and get together. I MISS THAT. and so i went to the pool alone and i saw tons of pairs of girls, or 3 girls and a guy, all hanging out and having a good time. talkin about wht they were doing later, who was all coming. i just dont know how to reach out and meet people!! its so hard!

so i was at the pool by myself and i just felt like i kept geting looks. it took me an hour and a half to get the courage to get up and get in the pool. ugh. i just felt so stupid being alone and felt so self conscious. going to the pool was always difficult for me. i ALWAYS felt so fat.

all these feelings came back. but when i got in the water i did enjoy swimming back and forth.

How do you meet people guys?

i have been craving pizza all day and even at work i told someone i was going to go home and order pizza. i knew i shouldnt so i got on buddyslim, and what happened? i had some emails from a few ladies saying i was an inspiration and if i had any pointers.

Well, by talking to them i overcame the pizza craving. well not really. but i chose to use my mind and make something different, more healthy. chicken boiled in worchester sauce and hot sauce and a little bit of cheddar cheese, and garlic salt and chili powder. sounds wierd, but i always make concoctions and they turn out YUMMY. and this one DID! i should open my own restaurant. i am also eating it with a whole can of green beans with pepper on them. yummmmmmmm. im so happy about my food choice! and for desert i will have a LARGE bowl of fruit ! yay!

so this week was an ODD week at work! i was off of work monday and tuesday, and i came back wednesday till sunday. well wednesday was really busy! and i made more money than usual! then thursday was the same way!! and then friday! and i was getting exxcited because i thought that maybe i was going to have a FAT pay check! but then saturday hit, and i didnt make ANY money! we were dead!! and this was soooo unlike petsmart. people always wanna bring them in on the weekends. i left early yesterday and got a call from my manager telling me to come in late sunday. so i did today, and i made NOO MONEY again!! so my check is OKAY, because i kind of made up for it during the week. but JEEZ! i made 50 dollars today. thats it! blah!

and i was telling my mom this because i was telling her about work, and she cant even be in the conversation she always has to bring it back to her. WHY DO I CONTINUE TO TALK T HER ABOUT MONEY!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH IM SO DUMB SOMETIMES! after i told her all i just told you, she was like “well at least you made more than me”

cuz she is out of work. BY THE WAY GUYS, she is out of work because SHE quit her job. and does not want to find a part time job to give her extra income while her mom also pays her bills. She also loads on me the other night taht she doesnt know how she is gonna make it and bla bla bla. sorry if i seem so insensitive, but ive given her money already, and im just TIRED! i went to grooming school to FURTHER MYSELF, while at the same time she quit her job and expects me to help her out. she brought this upon her self, im sorry…. thats so cold and i feel bad saying it, but its true.

i cant even talk to her. im trying to save up to get OUT of her house and to get my own place and i cant do that when im constantly being bombarded with “can i borrow this” or “can you pay this”

GRR!!

love ya guys!

i guess maybe i was just so exhausted from waking up at 6 am to go to work that i just lost the motivation to work out. i still kind of would rather NOT go, but at least i can GET myself to go now. a few hours ago i couldnt of gotten myself to do that. lol

so HERE I GO!

i dont understand how i can be so UNMOTIVATED to get in the gym and that scares me. this is the first time ive felt this way since january about the gym. i dont like that i feel this way! help buddies!

ive eatten great for 7 days now. but i just need a push!

Jeez for the past month or so ive been on track, then off track, then on track, then off track. but i havent been in “the zone” for the past month or so. FINALLY im in the zone and cant wait to see what my efforts will bring!!!! im SURE i can get to my goal of under 160 by my birthday!!
WOOOOHOOO!!

Dont have much time to write cuz i got off work late tonight and i work sort of early tomorrow.

love all my buddies!!

If you own a dog, i have one thing to say to you: TAKE CARE OF IT!

I am a dog groomer at petsmart for those of you who dont know, and

I am sick and tired of having people bring their shih tzu’s, lhasa apso, shelties, golden retrievers, etc. to petsmart and wanting us to perform MAGIC! YES, i understand that sometimes dogs dont like to be brushed, or dont like their baths, but jeez come on.

ill adress the bath part first: SAY your dog doesnt like taking baths. they might fight you, pull on the leash, try to do anything to get away from you. you DO NOT give in. if you let them win the battle (ie causing too much ruckus and making you give up on trying to bathe them) then you are reinforcing their stubbornness. Like a child, if they throw a tantrum when they want candy, and you give in to their screaming and crying and kicking, then they LEARN (JUST LIKE DOGS DO) that their behavior can get them what they want. SAME GOES WITH DOGS. if they pull and try to get away if you tie them up in the driveway, or tie them to a post or something and try to give them a bath, just KEEP DOING IT. if your doing it in the bath tub, KEEP ON WITH IT. Eventually they will run out of energy, just like children eventually quit crying, and will give up and surrender. THIS IS NOT MEAN. this is HYGEINE!

ALSO, if your dog has matted up fur (ie knots) DO NOT wash it. it will ONLY TIGHTEN up the knots and make them even worse, to the point where they have to be shaved out. you MUST BRUSH them out.

also, lets address the brushing part. come on guys, your children need their hair brushed more than once a month. SO DOES YOUR DOG. even short hair dogs need their hair brushed, it keeps the dead skin and dead hair off their body and keeps them clean. this is why your dog probably smells quicker after a bath then a dog that gets brushed. you are letting all that dead skin and hair sit and soak on their body. gross when you think about it! i would reccomend brushing your dog at LEAST once a week if it is long hair. short hair, maybe once a week. also, PROBLEM AREAS on long haired dogs:: behind the ears, under the armpits, base of the tail, rear end. all of these areas tend to knot up quickly. please brush your dogs!! not only is it uncomfortable to have these knotts pulling on their skin CONSTANTLY, remember, THEY CANT brush themselves! those knots hurt! and its REALLY unhealthy for their SKIN to let these knots stay on them. underneath the skin gets irritated, rashed out, raw, etc. im serious, dogs can get skin conditions from letting this stuff go.

ALSO, nail TRIMMING IS CRUCIAL! have you ever tried to put on tight shoes with socks and have your toenails really long. so long that they bump up against the shoes, and your feet will THROB by the end of the day. thats how dogs feel when they are walking on the grass, carpet, tile etc. it HURTS when they are extra long. i sugges getting DOG NAIL CLIPPERS. they arent that expensive. some of you might say you dont know how much to take off. well, if you do it often enough you will only have to take off the sharp tip, and each time they will stay shorter and shorter. when a dog walks on concrete, they file down naturally. if you take nail clippers and just barely take off the tip, this makes the nail shorter. then they file down more on the concrete, and the vein (called the quick) will recede and make the nail shorter. its like when you bite your nails shorter and shorter and shorter, the nail bed will recede. SO, invest in nail clippers. for the dogs that have pink or white nails, you can see what can be cutt off. anything that is not showing that red vein. on the black nails, just take off the tips. AND WHEN DOGS FIGHT YOU ON THIS, you pin them down. this might sound mean and harsh, but its just like a child. some kids dont like their nails clipped, they dont want their teeth brushed. you do it. it is for thier health and well being, and it needs to be done. the more you force them to endure this, the more they will get used to it.

SO…. in saying all of this i hope SOMEONE out there hears this and maybe brushes their dog more

Sorry if it seemed hostile, but i had a HORRIBLY matted horribly taken care of dog today and it just made me sick.

so PLEASE: TAKE CARE OF YOUR PET.

Ok i was at the gym and was walking to the locker room to leave and hottie mc hottie was walking towards me, we walked RIGHT past each other, it was my PERFECT opportunity to make eye contact or even say what ive been wanting to say, BUT NO. i just kept walking.

IM SO MAD AT MYSELF ! GRRR!

lol

;( tear